Where to Find Marriage Counselors Near You
The good news is that qualified marriage counselors are more accessible than ever. Whether you prefer in-person sessions or the flexibility of virtual therapy, you have several reliable options for finding help.
Psychology Today Directory
The most comprehensive free directory of therapists. Filter by location, specialty (couples therapy), insurance accepted, and session format. Each listing includes the therapist's approach, credentials, and contact information.
Visit: psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Your Insurance Provider
Call the number on your insurance card or log into your member portal. Ask specifically for "marriage and family therapists" or "couples counselors" who are in-network. This ensures you pay the lowest out-of-pocket cost.
AAMFT Therapist Locator
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy maintains a directory of licensed MFTs. These therapists have specialized training in couples and family dynamics.
Visit: aamft.org/Therapist-Locator
Your Primary Care Doctor
Doctors often maintain referral networks with mental health professionals. They can recommend counselors who have helped other patients and may be able to expedite appointments.
Religious Organizations
Many churches, synagogues, and mosques offer pastoral counseling or can refer you to faith-based counselors. These services are often low-cost or free for members.
What to Expect From Marriage Counseling
Walking into your first session can feel intimidating. Understanding the process helps reduce anxiety and sets realistic expectations for what counseling can accomplish.
The First Session
Your initial session is primarily about assessment. The counselor will ask about your relationship history, what brought you to counseling, and what you hope to achieve. Both partners get a chance to share their perspective. Most counselors won't take sides or make judgments in this first meeting.
Ongoing Sessions
Subsequent sessions focus on specific issues and building skills. You might practice communication techniques, work through past conflicts, or explore patterns that keep showing up in your relationship. Many counselors assign "homework" to practice between sessions.
Common Counseling Approaches
- • Gottman Method: Research-based approach focusing on friendship, conflict management, and shared meaning
- • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Helps couples understand and reshape emotional responses
- • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Addresses thought patterns that affect relationship behavior
- • Imago Relationship Therapy: Explores how childhood experiences shape adult relationships
Timeline and Commitment
Most couples attend weekly sessions for 3-6 months, though this varies significantly based on the issues being addressed. Some couples see meaningful progress in 8-10 sessions, while others benefit from longer-term support. The counselor will help you assess progress and determine when you're ready to reduce frequency or conclude.
How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?
Cost is often the biggest barrier to seeking help. Understanding your options can help you find affordable care.
| Option | Typical Cost |
|---|---|
| Private practice (no insurance) | $150-$250/session |
| In-network with insurance | $20-$50 copay |
| Sliding scale therapists | $50-$100/session |
| Community mental health centers | $20-$60/session |
| University training clinics | $10-$30/session |
| Online therapy platforms | $60-$100/session |
Ways to Reduce Costs
- Ask about sliding scale fees based on your income
- Check if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) with free sessions
- Look for therapists-in-training at university clinics (supervised by licensed professionals)
- Use HSA or FSA funds to pay for therapy
- Consider less frequent sessions (bi-weekly) once you've built momentum
Questions to Ask a Potential Counselor
Before committing to a counselor, schedule a brief phone consultation (most offer this free). Here are important questions to ask:
"What is your experience with couples therapy?"
Look for someone who specializes in couples work, not just individual therapy.
"What therapeutic approach do you use?"
They should be able to explain their method clearly.
"Have you worked with couples facing similar issues?"
Experience with your specific concerns matters.
"What does a typical treatment plan look like?"
Helps set expectations for duration and frequency.
"How do you handle it when partners have conflicting goals?"
A good counselor has strategies for this common situation.
"What are your fees and do you accept insurance?"
Get clear on costs before your first session.
Signs You Might Benefit From Marriage Counseling
You don't need to wait for a crisis to seek help. In fact, couples who seek counseling earlier often see better results. Consider counseling if you recognize any of these patterns:
Communication Issues
Conversations frequently escalate into arguments, or you've stopped talking about important things altogether.
Same Arguments on Repeat
You keep fighting about the same issues without resolution, leaving both partners frustrated.
Trust Problems
Infidelity, lies, or broken promises have damaged trust and you're struggling to rebuild it.
Growing Apart
You feel more like roommates than partners, with little emotional or physical intimacy.
Major Life Transitions
New baby, job loss, relocation, or retirement is straining your relationship.
Considering Separation
One or both partners are thinking about ending the relationship.
Counseling isn't just for relationships in trouble. Many healthy couples use it for tune-ups, to navigate transitions, or to strengthen their communication before small issues become big ones.
Alternatives and Complements to Counseling
Professional counseling isn't the only option. Depending on your situation and budget, you might consider these alternatives or use them alongside therapy:
Marriage Preparation Apps
Apps like Before Yes provide structured questions covering finances, family planning, values, and communication. They're especially useful for couples preparing for marriage or wanting to have important conversations between counseling sessions.
Download on App StoreRelationship Books
Books like "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" (Gottman), "Hold Me Tight" (Sue Johnson), and "Attached" (Levine & Heller) offer research-backed insights you can apply on your own.
Couples Workshops and Retreats
Intensive weekend workshops can provide focused work on your relationship. Organizations like The Gottman Institute and PREP offer evidence-based programs.
Online Courses
Self-paced video courses let you learn relationship skills together at home. Many are created by licensed therapists and cost significantly less than individual sessions.