What is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is a specialized form of therapy designed to help engaged couples prepare for married life. Unlike marriage counseling (which addresses problems in existing marriages), premarital counseling is proactive—it aims to build a strong foundation before issues arise.
Sessions typically involve both partners meeting with a counselor, therapist, or religious leader over several weeks. The focus is on developing communication skills, discussing important life topics, and identifying areas where you might need to align expectations.
Research Shows It Works
Studies indicate that couples who complete premarital counseling have a 30% lower divorce rate than those who don't. The skills learned in these sessions—particularly around communication and conflict resolution—prove valuable throughout the marriage.
Source: Journal of Family Psychology
Whether you're having doubts or feeling completely confident about your relationship, premarital counseling offers a structured way to have important conversations before you walk down the aisle.
Where to Find Premarital Counseling Near You
Finding premarital counseling is often easier than you'd expect. Here are the most common options:
Your Place of Worship
Churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples often provide premarital counseling as part of their wedding services. Many religious institutions require it before performing ceremonies. This option is typically free or very low cost.
View faith-based marriage preparation resources →Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists
Search Psychology Today's directory or the AAMFT Therapist Locator for licensed professionals who specialize in premarital counseling. Filter by location, insurance, and specialty.
Visit: psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/premarital-counseling
Your Wedding Officiant
If you've chosen an officiant, ask if they offer premarital sessions. Many officiants (both religious and secular) incorporate preparation sessions as part of their services.
Online Programs
Programs like PREPARE/ENRICH, Symbis, and various online courses offer structured premarital education. These can be completed at your own pace and often include assessment tools.
Community Organizations
Some community centers, YMCAs, and nonprofit organizations offer premarital workshops or can refer you to local resources.
Religious vs. Secular Premarital Counseling
Both approaches have value. The right choice depends on your beliefs, preferences, and what you hope to get from the experience.
Religious Premarital Counseling
- • Incorporates faith traditions and spiritual practices
- • Often led by clergy or trained church members
- • Usually free or donation-based
- • May be required for religious ceremony
- • Addresses role of faith in marriage
Secular Premarital Counseling
- • Research-based therapeutic approaches
- • Led by licensed therapists (LMFT, LPC)
- • May be covered by insurance
- • Focus on communication and psychology
- • Flexible scheduling options
Many couples choose both—completing religious preparation requirements while also working with a secular therapist. Others find that one approach covers everything they need.
Topics Covered in Premarital Counseling
While every program is different, most premarital counseling covers these core areas:
Communication
Learn to express needs effectively, listen actively, and navigate difficult conversations without escalation.
Conflict Resolution
Develop strategies for handling disagreements constructively and understanding each other's conflict styles.
Financial Planning
Discuss money management, debt, savings goals, spending habits, and whether to combine finances.
Family Planning
Explore whether you want children, parenting approaches, and how to handle differing opinions.
Roles & Expectations
Clarify expectations around household responsibilities, career priorities, and division of labor.
Intimacy
Discuss physical and emotional intimacy needs, boundaries, and how to maintain connection.
Extended Family
Navigate relationships with in-laws, family boundaries, and holiday expectations.
Personal Values
Explore core values, life goals, religious practices, and how to respect differences.
Start These Conversations Today
You don't have to wait for formal counseling to start discussing these topics. Before Yes provides over 100 conversation-starting questions covering all the important areas couples should explore before marriage.
Download on App StoreCost and Duration of Premarital Counseling
The investment in premarital counseling varies widely based on the type of program and provider you choose.
| Option | Cost | Sessions |
|---|---|---|
| Church/Religious | Free - $100 | 4-8 sessions |
| Licensed Therapist | $75-$200/session | 4-8 sessions |
| Online Programs | $50-$200 total | Self-paced |
| Weekend Workshops | $200-$500/couple | 1-2 days |
| Apps & Self-Study | Free - $50 | Ongoing |
State Incentives
Some states offer incentives for completing premarital education. For example, Florida, Georgia, Minnesota, and Texas reduce marriage license fees for couples who complete an approved premarital course. Check with your local clerk's office for requirements.
When to Start
Most counselors recommend starting premarital counseling 4-6 months before your wedding. This gives you time to work through issues without the stress of an imminent deadline. However, it's never too early (or too late) to invest in your relationship.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Beyond the statistics showing lower divorce rates, premarital counseling offers practical benefits that couples often don't anticipate:
Uncover Hidden Assumptions
Discover expectations you didn't know you had—about household duties, holidays, careers, and more—before they become sources of conflict.
Learn Each Other's Language
Understand how your partner expresses and receives love, handles stress, and processes conflict—knowledge that pays dividends for decades.
Build Conflict Skills Early
Learn how to disagree productively while you're still in the honeymoon phase, when motivation is high and stakes feel lower.
Address Difficult Topics Safely
A counselor creates a safe space to discuss sensitive subjects like past relationships, family trauma, or differing values.
Establish a Help-Seeking Pattern
Couples who seek premarital counseling are more likely to seek help when future challenges arise, rather than letting problems fester.